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What have I done? My God! What have I done?

I've left my wife and children alone in the house with known morally ambiguous social engineer, Dr. Sardonic,

Who knows what types of sinister indoctrination activities they've been subjected to in my absence. What madness took hold of me? If I had my wits about me, I'd dash, nay -- trot, to their rescue.

Instead, I've been walking in the waves on Miami Beach. Which, tourists have apparently decided is a topless beach. The problem is - the wrong tourists made that decision.

I'll be back home tonight. Hopefully, my children will not be garbed in lab coats, fondling their Meerschaums, regaling each other with sordid tales of Far East travel.

May God have mercy on my soul.
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9:56 AM

I don't want to worry you, but...

Last night, he was iChatting with me because I invited him over for dinner on Sunday. I was asking him what he'd like me to make, but he kept impatiently insisting, "I have to say goodnight to (Sysmistress)! I have to say goodnight to (Sysmistress)! We'll talk about this tomorrow."

I don't know what "say goodnight to" means in Sardonic-talk.    



10:23 AM

Sysm: so you're good with my "mods" to your basement, right? I'd run it by Sysmistress, but she hasn't quite regained consciousness yet.

Shriekie-cakes: the slab beckons.    



10:42 AM

Is "Shriekie-Cakes" meant for me? Because I don't think you have what it takes to make me shriek.

Titter, yes. Giggle, maybe. Disdainfully chuckle, definitely.

But shriek? I disdainfully chuckle at the notion.    



10:57 PM

*sigh*

What I wouldn't give to be left alone in the house with Dr. Sardonic.    



5:41 PM

Tits, be careful what you wish for.

He's a deviant who just returned from Thailand.    



6:47 PM

How many men was Ubie chatting with last night?    



8:33 PM

I know, Übie! So. Hot. (I refer both to Sardonic and your evening chat harlotry.)    



9:16 PM

All is well.

I have returned home. Other than the new Germanic accent, and the furtive glances that they're making, I suspect that there was no hanky, let alone panky, between the Doctor and the ever-lovin' Sysmistress.

I dodged a bullet.

'Cause I'm quick like that.    



10:07 PM

Dr. Sardonic has left the building.    



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