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Feel the Beef


Dear China,

I am so sorry. I promise, neither I nor any members of my immediate family had anything to do with this.

Yours,

Sysm
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8:57 PM

That is deeply disturbing.

Also hot.    



1:43 AM

but it's thicker.

and juicier.

and when is that wrong?

oh, with cucumbers, that's when.    



8:31 AM

It's about time they felt the beef in China.    



5:22 PM

"Beef", by the way, was my childhood nickname.    



5:47 PM

Feel more beef taste.    



11:23 PM

"Feel the beef" is the title of my match.com profile.    



2:23 AM

They're not talking about hamburgers, are they?

Wait. Are they?    



4:01 PM

Wouldn't you like to know.    



8:19 PM

I'm calling you Beef from now on. It's so hot.    



1:32 AM

Me or Sysm?

or Ubie?    



11:02 AM

I live in fear.    



11:11 AM

A beautiful adult woman calling me "Beef" evokes entirely different reactions than the way it was used by my siblings to taunt me.

Sorry Nick, you'll have to find your own animal product to claim as a term of endearment. May I suggest "Thuringer"?    



1:36 PM

And hello, my little furry friend.

And Monkey, too!    



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