Being that most of my neighbors are right wing Republican gun nuts, they're pussies. So, it comes down to me to be the neighborhood critter wrangler. Scooping rabbits and voles out of window wells. Birds tangled up with fishing line stuck in trees. Hornets. Snakes. Coyotes. And of course, mice.

I prefer not to hurt the animals. The only animals that I'll willfully hurt are mosquitoes and flies.

We had a mouse in our garage yesterday. It wasn't the first time. Last time, I decided to let the mouse decide its own fate. I put out two traps: the spring loaded kind and a glue-based kind. The mouse picked the glue. I brought it over to a nearby field, removed it from the glue, and set it free.

Last night, I set the glue trap out again. An hour later, the mouse was stuck. Again, I scooped up the trap and walked over to the field. But it was about 20 degrees and windy. After a few minutes, I was so cold, I just said "fuck it" and through the whole trap (with the mouse still attached) into the field. I'm picturing a stream of ever larger animals trying to eat the mouse, and getting stuck in the glue tray themselves.

I'm not nearly as compassionate when frostbitten.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 01, 2005 at 9:10 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.