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Yakov Smirnoff Died For Your Sins - Updated!



This painting was in the window of an art gallery in Wheaton, Illinois. The Sysmistress thinks that's supposed to be Jesus. Whatever. What a country!

In my neck of the woods, it's assumed you're a Christian. And a Republican. Today's local paper featured a "Advertising Supplement" listing opportunities for Easter Worship.




While the press is privately-owned, I have a rather quaint worldview where I hope that the "Fourth Estate" presents a neutral view of politics and religion. When the paper devotes a four-color advertising section to Easter worship, I think that's a tacit way of saying, "Majority rules. It's a free country. And the rest of you are free to shut the fuck up."

"Now Sysm," you might say in my imagined voice of the Devil's Advocate, "if there are consumers hungry for that product, then what's wrong with the paper making a buck pleasing their audience."

"Well, imaginary voice of reasoned opposition," I say, "I believe that a large portion of the audience enjoys pornography, too. But I don't see the paper offering a 'Special Advertising Section' for those needing to rub one out."

"Touche", you say. "And I notice you still can't fine the accent key. Special characters still vex you. And you think you're so smart..."

"Why do you torture me so, imaginary voices? Can't you see you're making my life a living Hell?"

"Me? Just admit it, you can't think of a way to end this post."

"Sure I can. It's my 400th post. I can stop anytime I


On Saturday night, an "Act of God" happened in my town. A microburst. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured. I like a good smiting just as much as the next heathen, but upon further investigation, I was clearly NOT the target. The meterologic anomaly was actually much closer to the art gallery housing the graven image of Yakov/Jesus than it was to the Sysm Family Compund and Pancake House. The Supreme Being has really got to stop using town boundaries, and get hip to Google Maps.

Furthermore, Yakov, himself, has painted a Yakov/Jesus hybrid portrait.


Quote Yakov,
My belief is that the Son of God is usually seen as carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders. I feel that He also has a great sense of humor. Children laugh 300 times and more a day, and God gave them this gift. Jesus said let the little children come to me and reminded us that we needed to be like them. Thinking about all of this I thought the most innocent way of looking at the world has to be through children's eyes. So, the eyes of Jesus are actually my children's -- one is Natasha's and one is Alexander's. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.


In quasi-related news, the Ilinois General Assembly is considering changing Illinois Law to make a "Moment of Silence" mandatory in schools. It's already optional. The Chicago Tribune's Eric Zorn considers this an overt act to put prayer in the schools. I agree. And it's one more God-damned thing the teachers don't need. Please read Zorn's column. It's spot-on.

And finally, for my dear friend Ubie, please don't take my harping too seriously. Richard White Boy Bob, posted a YouTube link with a snippet from an interview with the late Dr. Richard Feynman. His worldview and mine are pretty closely aligned. With thanks to the future Canuck for the link, here it is:

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1:22 AM

Easter is surely coming up in a while now...and people around are getting excited about it..it's truly a wonderful celebration filled with fun and joy...and to share some of this wonderful spirit also visit my blog on Easter Greetings sometime and enjoy all that i've posted there!!!!    



10:03 AM

I just love the fact that you wrote about porn and rubbing one out. This is becoming a naughty, dirty, nasty little blog. It needs a good spanking.    



10:32 AM

I get so angry when I read the grocery ads and they advertise kosher foods for Passover! Jews CLEARLY control the media!

That's my way of saying I think you should chill out about some paid advertising segment. You're reading a bit too much into it. And an entire industry geared toward pleasing those who want to "rub one out" DOES exist.

So, I think you need to consider the possibility that you are, a tad, prejudiced against Christians?    



10:48 AM

I was being sarcastic in my first paragraph. I just meant to say that goods and services are advertised, and sometimes those goods and services are related to religious beliefs.

I do not feel that Jews control the media, nor am I angry about Kosher foods. Except Mogan David wine, which is nasty.    



11:53 AM

Daverichards - you have such delightful holiday-themed merchandise. Go Je$u$!

Terasits - Can't help it. I'm a self-loathing atheist.

Brooke - You caught that shout out.

Ubie - Of course I'm a tad prejudiced. But that's almost besides the point.

Newspapers are supposed to be objective. "Supposed" is the operative term.

Now, when the baseball season starts, the Chicago papers will have special sections talking about the pending seasons for the hometown teams, and lesser amounts of coverage for the other teams in the League.

We understand that. That caters to our interest and favoritism of our hometown teams. People who root for out-of-town teams surely think the local coverage is biased.

When the paper has a special section devoted to the celebration of a religious holiday, the one celebrated by a majority of their readers, they're doing a variation of the same thing. They're saying the religion favored by the masses is the one to celebrate. pomerantzAnd the other religions are less important.

You might/will say that I'm reading too much into things.

And I'll agree.

BTW, The Daily Herald was founded with the motto "Our aim: To fear God, to tell the truth, and to make money."

To quote one of the greatest philosophers of our time, Marvin Lee Aday, "Two out of three ain't bad."    



3:34 PM

Paid. Advertising. Section.

Are you saying Christian Churches should have fewer rights than True Value Hardware?    



4:15 PM

Ubie - Yes. Exactly. You've paraphrased my point perfectly.

Would this paper devote a paid. advertising. section. to a woman's right to choose?

Would this paper devote a paid. advertising. section. to the anti-war movement?

Would this paper devote a paid. advertising. section. to a protest against our eroding constitutional values?

Would this paper devote a paid. advertising. section. is support of the right to gay marriage?

They would?

Okay.

Then I guess doing a paid. advertising. section. catering to a group of people holding views that are held as controversial, blasphemous or heretical by others in their circulation area is consistent with their equal-opportunity offense policy.

Oh wait, the group of people that would be offended by this is so small that it's not worthy of consideration. They wouldn't have the financial resources to warrant their own paid. advertising. section.    



6:02 PM

I think you're WAAAAAY overreacting, but I still love you.

Here's how it works: Every year, the paper makes money selling ads to churches for their Easter schedules. Every year, a salesman goes to the houses of worship and says, "Can we count on your ad again this year?" It's about money, not some sort of conspiracy to promote Christian values.

If there was an annual Pagan fest that predictably generated dollars, they would put that in the paper, too.    



12:02 PM

I'm going to have to agree with Sysm on this one. But then I'm a person that thinks religion should keep itself to itself and stop being so in our collective faces.

But that's just me.

I've just finished reading a v.good book on the Big Bang by Simon Singh btw - I highly recommend it.    



12:08 PM

Big Bang    



12:21 PM

In Soviet Russia sins died for Jesus.    



12:39 PM

Ubie - I'll let you know if they do a NASCAR special this year.

Richard - I'll be on that one. An interesting note. The day I snapped that picture of the Yakov/Jesus portrait, I was in Wheaton, Illinois. Wheaton is known for being a town with a particularly high concentration of Christian-centric activity. I was just a few blocks from Wheaton College. Wheaton College is an Evangelical Protestant institution. It's made headlines a few times recently. In 2003, it lifted its ban on student dancing. I'm not kidding. And in 2004, they fired a philosophy professor for converting to Roman Catholicism.

That said, I was sitting in their new public library, when I decided to see if they stocked Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion". Yes. They did. And it was checked out, with a wait-list queue of eight people. That pleased me.

On a similar note, I am trying to make it through C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity".

Just as I'll pay attention to Conservatives, I'll listen to what the religious have to say.    



12:42 PM

Nick - I have a great respect for the Russian citizenry who tried to keep their traditional practices intact during the Soviet era. I'm just concerned that, in our country, "Freedom of Religion" maintains a tolerance for those who prefer "Freedom From Religion".    



4:47 PM

That's basically what I was saying.    



5:20 PM

You sure know how to sweet talk a girl, Sysm.

I so, so heart you.    



7:31 PM

I vigorously oppose the ridiculous "moment of silence" and school prayer. I don't need Eric Zorn to tell me it's wrong.

Not that I would curtail Mr. Zorn's freedom of speech or expression even if I DID disagree with him.    



9:20 PM

In Soviet Russia, freedom of speech curtail you.    



9:29 PM

I need Mr. Zorn to cut up my pancakes.    



10:47 AM

I don't believe Eric Zorn exists. But you're entitled to your beliefs. I just never took you for a Zornian before.    



4:46 PM

Thanks for adding that Feynman snippet. I have a new post I think you may want to check out.    



10:49 PM

Sysm, I'm with you completely.

Thankfully the outrageously loud, pushy, self-righteous evengelical right hasn't become so loud and pushy here in England YET but they are definitely growing. Our Prime Minister has changed the rules on new schools being built so that more and more 'faith groups' can 'sponsor' them. And they get the right to influence practice, intake, curriculum, etc. I wish people here would wake up and put up a dam to stop it before it's too late. Because when I hear some of the stuff going on on your side of the pond (eg.Wheaton College) I worry- isn't it meant to be the freedom centre of the world or something? What about those of us who DON'T believe in any religion? More and more legislation going through to protect the rights of this faith and that faith, I'm like, ahem Hello? And for us non-believers???

It riles me enough when I get people from churches knocking on my door to preach to me, the patronising, pitying look they give when I shut the door to them. If I had it coming through the letterbox in my newspaper too, I'd be as angry as you, so I don't think you're over-reacting!

Oooooo it's enough to makeyou want to chew your own foot off!!!!

ps.
found my way here from Monkey's. Nice blog.    



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