Yakov Smirnoff Died For Your Sins - Updated!
Friday, March 30, 2007
This painting was in the window of an art gallery in Wheaton, Illinois. The Sysmistress thinks that's supposed to be Jesus. Whatever. What a country!
In my neck of the woods, it's assumed you're a Christian. And a Republican. Today's local paper featured a "Advertising Supplement" listing opportunities for Easter Worship.
In my neck of the woods, it's assumed you're a Christian. And a Republican. Today's local paper featured a "Advertising Supplement" listing opportunities for Easter Worship.
While the press is privately-owned, I have a rather quaint worldview where I hope that the "Fourth Estate" presents a neutral view of politics and religion. When the paper devotes a four-color advertising section to Easter worship, I think that's a tacit way of saying, "Majority rules. It's a free country. And the rest of you are free to shut the fuck up."
"Now Sysm," you might say in my imagined voice of the Devil's Advocate, "if there are consumers hungry for that product, then what's wrong with the paper making a buck pleasing their audience."
"Well, imaginary voice of reasoned opposition," I say, "I believe that a large portion of the audience enjoys pornography, too. But I don't see the paper offering a 'Special Advertising Section' for those needing to rub one out."
"Touche", you say. "And I notice you still can't fine the accent key. Special characters still vex you. And you think you're so smart..."
"Why do you torture me so, imaginary voices? Can't you see you're making my life a living Hell?"
"Me? Just admit it, you can't think of a way to end this post."
"Sure I can. It's my 400th post. I can stop anytime I
On Saturday night, an "Act of God" happened in my town. A microburst. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured. I like a good smiting just as much as the next heathen, but upon further investigation, I was clearly NOT the target. The meterologic anomaly was actually much closer to the art gallery housing the graven image of Yakov/Jesus than it was to the Sysm Family Compund and Pancake House. The Supreme Being has really got to stop using town boundaries, and get hip to Google Maps.
Furthermore, Yakov, himself, has painted a Yakov/Jesus hybrid portrait.
Quote Yakov,
My belief is that the Son of God is usually seen as carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders. I feel that He also has a great sense of humor. Children laugh 300 times and more a day, and God gave them this gift. Jesus said let the little children come to me and reminded us that we needed to be like them. Thinking about all of this I thought the most innocent way of looking at the world has to be through children's eyes. So, the eyes of Jesus are actually my children's -- one is Natasha's and one is Alexander's. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.
In quasi-related news, the Ilinois General Assembly is considering changing Illinois Law to make a "Moment of Silence" mandatory in schools. It's already optional. The Chicago Tribune's Eric Zorn considers this an overt act to put prayer in the schools. I agree. And it's one more God-damned thing the teachers don't need. Please read Zorn's column. It's spot-on.
And finally, for my dear friend Ubie, please don't take my harping too seriously.
Labels: Dancery, Sheepy-back-rides, Toleration
