Scalp Boogers
I'm sitting on the train right now. The train has an upper deck. On the upper deck, half of the seats are reversible, and the backs can be flipper over so that the rider is facing the direction that the train is moving in.
I'm sitting in one of those seats. But directly in front of me is a seat that permanently faces one direction. Towards me at the moment. There is a woman sitting sideways in the seat - as there's no room for her knees facing forwards. And I got here first, damn it. She's basically four inches away from my lap.
She's wearing a black sweater, with white kittens and flowers embroidered on the front. She's scratching her scalp continuously. And as she scratches, her lips twitch, as if she were talking to her scalp. Then she checks between her nails to see the scalp residue that she's collected.
I'm glad I skipped breakfast this morning.
I have to stop typing and close my eyes for the balance of the ride.
Good day!
I'm sitting in one of those seats. But directly in front of me is a seat that permanently faces one direction. Towards me at the moment. There is a woman sitting sideways in the seat - as there's no room for her knees facing forwards. And I got here first, damn it. She's basically four inches away from my lap.
She's wearing a black sweater, with white kittens and flowers embroidered on the front. She's scratching her scalp continuously. And as she scratches, her lips twitch, as if she were talking to her scalp. Then she checks between her nails to see the scalp residue that she's collected.
I'm glad I skipped breakfast this morning.
I have to stop typing and close my eyes for the balance of the ride.
Good day!
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, May 09, 2006 at 9:38 AM.
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11:07 AMDamn it, Sysm. You just made me barf all over my keyboard.
12:33 PM
People who ride the el are scoffing at you right now.
"A bum threw up on me once, and he's complaining about 'scalp boogers?'"
5:23 PM
wow.
eww.
I deal with bad body odour and old men staring at my breasts with a look that says "GAH your breasts offend me!" but no scalp boogers... ewww
6:33 PM
Men are offended by breasts? that is new to me.
10:06 PM
One time here in SF a man got on the bus, obviously having just shat himself, and there was a Chinese man in front of us that kept on yelling "Whats that fuck smell? Whats that fuck smell??!!" The pant crapper was unphased. I imagine if you would have confronted the scalp booger picker, she would have simply ignored you too. Public transport can be gross sometimes.
11:14 PM
I'm certainly not offended by breasts. Girls in gerneral make me nervous and sweaty, so, I guess, by extension, so do breasts.
8:40 AM
tits - that's why I cover my keyboard in plastic. barf wipes right off.
ubie - I apologized to the person I threw up on while riding the El. Can't you let me move on.
Kiitty - what exactly are your breasts doing at the time that makes them so offensive?
Rewhatever - I was watching the "Today" show. Katie Couric doesn't have a big smile, she just has weird little eyes that are too close together. Anyway, they were preparing fish, and going on and on about the fact that when you buy fish from a fishmonger (which I believe is a gender-neutral term), they have no "fish smell". In a similar fashio, if you buy sex from a sexmonger, it will not have "that fuck smell".
Nick - sure it's not a glandular condition?
5:59 PM
A delightfully and repulsively on target topic for Dr. S, who learned something new today about the NYC subway system: when you're in a subway station and see that one car in a train has only one door open, there's a very good (bad) reason for that. It's apparently something the police can request of the conductor. The one door is shut as a signal for passengers to not enter the train, and the other door is left open to air out the car while the police remove the smelly unconscious person. Dr. S was lucky enough to quick to pick up on this, but one daring young lad ventured into the car to see what all the fuss was about, lasting about .5 seconds before he bolted out with the about-to-puke hand gesture, and ran screaming in circles for some time.
The only other person on the train when the police arrived was sitting at the other end of the car, staring at the unconscious smelly guy (who regrettably had managed to remove his boots and socks before passing out), and whose mouth appeared to be frozen wide open as his erstwhile commuting companions fled the train. He remained so until my train (thankfully) arrived on the other track, and I can only hope that he was taken to the loony bin in a separate vehicle.
9:41 PM
Dr. S. tells the best stories.
Tell us another one, Uncle Sardy! Tell us the one about the bloated corpse! No, no... the festering boil! I LOVE that one!
12:14 AM
Well, great. Now I've gone and thrown up again.
Thanks a lot, Sardonic.
12:32 AM
She's just full of vomit.
7:29 PM
This post is contributing to my public transportation phobia. Not that I won't take pt, but I constantly apply instant hand sanitzer.
11:01 AM
Stop reading your damn book already. We get it. You can read. Wooooo.
11:37 AM
I feel like I was right there with you. Thanks a fucking lot.
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