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A personal note to the gentleman next to me on the train


Okay. I haven't had my coffee yet today, and I'm not in a particularly good mood. But still.

Do you you have to cut your nails on the train? Do you really need to swing your elbows up each time you use the clippers? Does that give you a little more momentum? Are you that weak? Or were your nails removed in a secret government experiment and replaced with adamantium?

Do you have to roll the clippings back and forth between your fingertips, moving them from hand to hand?

If you're going to eat them, eat them. Don't just caress your lips with them for minutes at a time.

Would you mind if I threw up in your general direction?

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 23, 2007 at 8:13 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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8:32 AM

You should take off your shoes and socks, put your feet in his lap, and say, "Can you do my toenails next?"    



3:08 PM

I'd have paid good money for you to hurl all over him.    



4:07 PM

Eating toenails! On the train! Holy shit that is rotten! I can't stop laughing....    



7:04 PM

Reading that made me convulse with laughter and sickness.    



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