When we take the Sysmidgets out to a show, we need six seats in a row. We opted to take them to see the new Spider-Hyphen-Man movie at 10am on Sunday morning. We were at a theater that's built into one of our nearby shopping malls. I wish I could say it was a religious experience, but regretably, not so much. It was middlin'.

Anyway, we've had so much family togetherness lately, that it was only right that we go out knife shopping. We cut through the mall to get to one of the anchor department stores. Good thing they have anchors, because there wasn't a damned thing left other than that. The mall was at least 50% vacant. And easily half of the stores that were left looked like they were renting out space on a month-to-month (week-to-week?) basis.

Mind you, this mall is in one of the nicer nearby communities. There is a huge commercial district, with your typical strip malls of every shop imaginable. Those off-mall places are thriving. They're building new ones, left and right. But the mall is clearly on the way out.

I wonder why?

Is it because folks would rather drive from strip mall to strip mall, rather than walk a 1/4 mile through the mall?

Or is it because this is the kind of shit you find there:



Yep. A Korn purse. I'm sure that's just the accessory item one would need to impress the judge in family court.

Or, say, how 'bout this lovely piece for over the mantle:



That's Tony Soprano, Scarface, De Niro in "Casino", Don Corleone, and Captain Jack Sparrow(!). In the background, I can make out Tupac, the Rat Pack, Biggie, Elvis, Brando. This is the single ultimate celebrity painting in the entire history of totally awesome celebrity paintings.

Duck Vagina

Labels: Fucked-up shit, gift registry, Venom, zombies