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Suck it, Kobayashi!


I missed ESPN's broadcast of the annual hot dog eating contest at Coney Island. But I was able to keep up with the wiener-to-wiener coverage via this live blog.

Defending champ Takeru Kobayashi claimed he wasn't competitive because of
Long time strength training, becoming big stress in the jaw, it is to be accumulated."

I feel your poorly translated pain. But this is the one sport we can still excel at. We're Number One! And "Biggie Size" it. Do I get refills?

Now, I've been known to engage in wagers related to the accumulated consumption of encased meat. But the Nathan's experience? One, maybe.

Plain hot dogs, on a bun, are only marginally edible. The way they eat them in the contest, the bun is just a nitrate delivery device. Chicago-styly? That's the way to go. Mustard. Sport peppers. Chopped onions. Fluorescent green relish. Kosher dill spears. Celery salt. That's how sweet Jesus in Heaven and the Holy Apostles want us to eat our hot dogs. You can eat three of those, you're a man among men. And a candidate for a myocardial infarction.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 8:22 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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9:00 AM

our long national nightmare has ended.    



9:34 AM

I like to have one or two Chicago-style dogs, prepared as you described, and also a chili dog with extra cheese for the sake of culinary variety.

This is why I'm a lard butt.    



12:24 PM

I deeply regret that I have never had the pleasure of enjoying a Chicago-style weiner.

I do, however, know all about long time strength training accumulating big stress in the jaw.    



12:38 PM

I started to watch it and then the highlights from last year made me sick to my stomach so I had to stop.

I like competition and I like eating, but the combined two are just gross.    



2:25 PM

i've heard hotdogs peppered with asian herbs are great for 'stress jaw', not to be confused with 'stress wrist' for chronic masturbators.    



7:48 AM

they're good for that, too.    



7:51 AM

That is, in fact, how Jesus likes his weiners.    



2:42 PM

Flounder totally just called Jesus gay.    



6:15 PM

Kobayashi? Really? I thought that was just a made up name from The Usual Suspects.    



3:46 PM

"...this will be the greatest moment in the history of American sports if Chestnut can bring the belt home to Coney Island..."

The announcer seriously said that. Go back and listen to the clip.    



1:23 PM

Are you disputing the validity of that comment, B.A.?    



5:56 PM

I'm hungry.    



8:51 PM

goodbye vagina    



9:34 AM

I mean goodnight vagina

It sounded better last night    



10:18 AM

Ubie - but now there'll be an emptiness. We've lost something to fight for.

Todd - welcome to the ever expanding club.

Ms McGee - having come close to moving here, perhaps a properly dressed sausage would have tipped the decision the other way.

Nick - suck it up. be a man.

Raffi - "chronic" is relative. practice makes perfect.

Nick - so now you come around?

Flounder - the biblical accounts vary. Though it is generally believed that he preferred "Hebrew National."

Tits - Jesus loves me. And I'm a guy. Thus, Jesus must be gay. The math works.

Brooke - I thought is was "Kobayashi Lets the Good Times Roll"

B.A. - while watching the National Rock/Paper/Scissors competition (televised), the announcer said, "you could cut the tension... with scissors."

Nick - B.A. asks me to reevaluate the validity of everything. I've learned a lot about myself. So shut your frace.

Tits - I made your salmon cakes recipe. Absolutely delicious. Of course, I had to keep the instructions upside down. The children would be shocked at the mere mention of Charles Nelson Reilly.

Ubie - is that the doppelgänger version of "Hello Kitty"?    



11:04 AM

A few points:

1) Is it wrong that I find the phrase "properly dressed sausage" highly erotic?

2) Jesus loves me, too. Thus, Jesus is bi. Which is mad hot, though not quite as hot as what the holy spirit is into.

3) Squee!!!    



11:56 AM

Tits Mcgee will no doubt reign in hell.    



1:17 PM

Flounder - she's a shameless harlot. Whereas you're religious.    



1:19 PM

It's true. I have no shame.    



2:29 PM

I like the word vagina because it has gin in it.    



2:41 PM

i like the word vagina because it has vagina in it.    



7:49 PM

I wish I was a harlot.    



7:49 PM

Shameless or otherwise.    



8:58 PM

I like gin.    



9:36 PM

I like vagina.    



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